On Saturday, 17^th April, at 2.30 in the afternoon, two miscreants knocked at the door. The elderly couple, one aged 83 years and the other, 75, unwittingly open the door. In Hoshangabad, Madhya Pradesh, where this incident took place, it is hot. Everyone has their doors and windows closed at that hour to keep away the heat.

The miscreants force themselves inside and at the point of knives, looted the couple of their ornaments and cash and then fled, all within 15 minutes.

The aged couple are my partner’s parents. They have been living in Hoshangabad, close to their son, for the last ten years. On Saturday, when the incident happened, Murli, their son, with his wife and two children, were in Jaipur on a Summer Holiday with their children who have come home from Rishi Valley.

When the incident was happening, Amma, Appa, fluctuated between, calling out for help at one time and submitting to the goons on the other. As a natural reflex, they cried out “Gurudev, Gurudev” when no one appeared. They were left unharmed physically, but mentally, the trauma and the shock thereof is only setting in. Amma is unable to get out of bed for long periods of time, Appa however is stronger. Two of their children, their elder daughter and their son are now with them.

But, is it the end of the hell or the beginning of tough thinking to do?

In a fast, globalized India, where we are constantly on the run, can we faithfully hold on to old family values of keeping our parents with us or close to us, in order that we may be able to look after their needs? And in order that they can feel happy being close to their children in the twilight years of their lives.  Case after case is coming forth where it indicates otherwise. Senior citizens are not safe, even when they are close to their children, living with them, or close to them. They are helpless to protect themselves in the event of any mishap. Many of them, have poor eye sight, and are ill, suffering from one chronic disorder or the other. They are physically weak and emotionally dependent on their children. Many of them even financially dependent.

At cultural crossroads, Indians are faced with many dilemmas and have to make many shifts in the way they have been thinking. The old is giving way to the new or otherwise, we are being forced to think differently.

My Amma, Appa, are happy to sit by the Narmada, doing their japam and leading a life of sincere spiruitual pursuits. But, the serenity is not so calm any more. Nor will it ever be. Traumas of this nature do not leave our psyche so easily, especially if we are in the vulnerable age, either, too young or are senior citizens.

What is the answer? Is Home for Senior Citizens the safest place to be or put our parents in? Or do we have to rethink our lives to accommodate the old age needs of our parents, just like perhaps our mothers did, when we were young, put away a career, to be at home to look after us? Is there a way, which marries, western solutions for senior citizens with Indian values? If so what can it be?

How can we make the lives of the aged in India, safe for the rest of their living days?


Dear Anjala, Gopalkrishnan, YoungGistan, Rama Rao Garimella, Aditi Ray, Ranjini Sharma and Sue Menon, here is the link to the published article in Dignity Dialogue a magazine for Senior Citizens in India: http://www.dignityfoundation.com/dialogue.php in which your valued comments have been published. Please go through this link to the pdf file to read your comment contributions. Thanks you so much for your valuable participation.
Link to the pdf file: 
http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=1&realattid=f_fhed20yb&attid=0.1&disp=vah&view=att&th=11a80828ad1a4784 

Should any of you want the pdf file, do send me an email at: xebecbooks@gmail.com