S Karandikar, SK for short, was dizzy with panic. He had finally said yes to the woman next door, for a rendezvous at the Pearl Hotel at 9 pm the following Tuesday. They had been involved in what you may call an erotic-dance-leela - but all in the mind. For the last three years, ever since, SK began to live away from his wife, he had been drawn to Radha, the intelligent wife of his friend living next door.

And what pray was Radha’s sense of values to set her heart on her husband’s best friend? 

Radha saw it as harmless.  Twenty times daily, on one pretext or the other she visited SK. Her phone had gone out of order.  May she use his instead? Just one call?  Could he just talk to her husband? No matter what she said, her husband did not see sense in it.  And so on and so forth. 

So, on and on, day after day, it seemed that Radha had something or the other she wanted SK to tell her husband. It all seemed so innocent. SK listened carefully, agreed with her in total and promised to be her mouthpiece. And he blabbered on, without ever realizing that Radha and he were growing close to each other.

But last month when Radha gave the final ultimatum  to her husband that she was going to move away to stay close to her parents  who lived about two hours away from their house, SK became obsessed with holding Radha back from taking such a step.

“ What is it to you’, she had demanded”, looking him in the eye, “ whether I stay here or I go”.

SK had almost uttered the three words  but bit his tongue in time. But, Radha had heard the words in his eyes and had left smiling coquettishly.  Now, he had no way out. He had to say it, because, every time she visited him now, there was a pregnant silence, that shrieked in both their ears.

SK, was in a mess. You see, he had a major problem on hand. No, it was not his wife finding out about this clandestine affair, nor whether his friendship with his friend would go on the rocks. It was something else. It disturbed him so much that he could not sleep.

In the meantime, Radha had in one way or the other demanded he put the words in her ears and hence the meeting was fixed at Pearl Hotel.

This was the cause of anxiety. Poor SK was in a state of acute panic.  His BP had risen and the thundering beat of his heart could be heard if you were to sit at a table facing him. It was the problem of rising expectations.

A hurried visit to a Doctor for a quick fix was all he could think of at the moment. He rushed to Dr Nitin Shah, 35 km from where he lived, in order that his well kept secret  may not leak out by any chance.

“ What is your problem?”  asked the fifty-five year old Receptionist, looking at him, over her spectacles.

“ Oh nothing! Just a small problem really….”

“ But what shall I tell the doctor?” she asked in exasperation.

“ It is a rising problem…..”  SK whispered, looking this way and that.

The Receptionist looked at him disapprovingly. SK began to feel guilty already.

Inside the cabin, the Doctor confirmed SK’s doubt. Alas, too much time had gone by, even the most potent Viagra would fail to rise to the occasion. 

Crestfallen, SK returned home. He hoped the earth would part and swollow him in. If it could have done so for Sita, why not him. Why had he to go and fall in love? What a lot of problems confronted him now.

When the appointed day arrived, both Radha and SK left for the same destination, but at different times.

“Mr And Mrs SK”, SK blurted out. The Receptionist handed over the keys to the room. But SK preferred to go to the attached Café. Two coffees down and ten cigarettes blown in smoke, he could see the irritation on Radha’s eyes.

“ Why have we come here?” she demanded, “ What is the point? Unless you tell me….”

 SK fumbled with words.

 “ No! No! Radha, I was just about to tell you…..In fact, I have been waiting to tell you for a long time, but was waiting for the right time. In this place, all by ourselves, I feel comfortable to say it. I hope you too are comfortable with me here, otherwise you can tell me and we can go to another place.......It is very important to be at ease with one another when such confessions are made. You see Radha, for three years you have been a good friend to me and I am sure I too have fulfilled your need for a friend......But the time has now come to tell you that it has been a very enriching experience for me to know you….I hope you can understand….”

Radha understood it only partially but whatever it was, she was desperate to hear the words. Why was he not saying it?  She looked at him with annoyance – 

“ But say what you brought me here to tell…..”

“ Of course! Of course!” SK said shifting in his chair,  “ Of course that is the main agenda of this meeting…..”

“ Shall we go to the room  if you want a more private space…”

“ No! No!  What’s so private about this? After all you well know….” SK stammered wiping the sweat from his forehead. 

Radha stared. Looking between his eyes, she fixed her glance at his forehead. SK felt a strong urge to visit the Rest room, but felt pinned down to the chair instead.

“ You see Radha, for the last three years, I have been trying to tell you this.  Now I can’t hold it any more….”

“Now or never!” Radha interrupted grabbing his hand on the table.

“ I have reached menopause…..male menopause!”  SK said tragically.

“ Menopause?”  Radha retorted, “ what do you mean menopause?” she went on almost missing the point. Then, suddenly it struck her –

“Oh dear,” she said glumly, “ I had such high  expectations from you!”