Sab chole gelo
Unar shaasher sathe…
I do hope things have changed. I do hope that she is no more the mashima or the pishima who is dressed in white sari without a border, sitting in one corner of the house, minding grandchildren at one point and overly attached to her son on the other. How can she not be? After all she lost her husband at 22 years and has had to live her life only with her children, being looked after by her husband’s brother. The question of remarriage was only for the elite upper/middle class. Not about her. So she learnt to make her life colourful in her own little way, adding meaning to her lack-luster life like the colourless white sari, the necklace of tulasi beads around her neck and her empty hands, those hands which were filled with sonar churi and bala and her neck with a thick gold chain, even her fingers wore a ring or two, but alas!
Yet, never can you ever forget a Bengali widow’s (I hope of yesteryears now) kitchen, the total vegetarian cuisine, without meat, fish, garlic, onions and masur daal. It was really the dish to relish at the very beginning of a meal. For those who are vegetarians, you can only imagine what a deprivation it must be for a woman whose tongue is suited to non-vegetarian meals from her eighth month onwards, to be compelled to eat only vegetarian meals when the rest of the household is doing otherwise. Only the flavour of the mutton curry can be hers for usually, her kitchen would be next to but separate from the non-veg one. For those of us who are non-vegetarians, it is unthinkable that one woman in the same household can be treated with such silent torture, year after year after year. To attack ones taste buds is like killing the living soul. And yet! This is not a post to moan the state of Bengal’s widows; it is one to showcase how she could transform a boring vegetable to the most exquisite dish for a meal.
Pishimar Peper Chechki
Ingrediants:
Raw papaya – large size but not ripe yet
Sauf – half teaspoon
Jeera – Quarter teaspoon
Ginger – Half inch piece
Green Chillies – 2 (Optional)
Red Chilli – 2
Bay leaf - 2
Dalchini – 1 stick
Elaichi – 2
Coconut – Grated 2 tablespoons
Haldi – 1 teaspoon
Salt – to taste
Sugar – Half teaspoon
Shudh ghee (cow) – 1 tablespoon
Mustard oil – 2 tablespoons (you can use any other oil as well)
Method:
Scrape and cut the raw papaya in four pieces. Grate and keep aside. Grind sauf, jeera, ginger, 1 green chillie together and put aside. Grind dalchini and elaichi and put it aside in a covered small bowl.
Take a large frying pan and put it on the fire. When it is hot, put the oil and allow the bubbles in the mustard oil to subside. Now put the red chillies and the bay leaves and brown both. Once that is done, put the masala and stir fry till it leaves the sides of the pan. Quickly add the grated papaya, haldi and salt and keep stirring till the masala and the papaya have mixed well. Add a cup of water and cover the pan till the papaya has cooked completely. Now add the elaichi dalchini mix, half a spoon of sugar and stir fry just a bit longer till all the water has dried up. Take it off the fire. Add the grated coconut. Stir and place it in a bowl and cover it.
Your Pishima’s Peper Chechki is ready to eat. Serve with hot rice although the chechki need not be steaming hot itself.
For More Bengali Recipes:
http://milonee.net/bengali_recipes/list.html

Raja Ram Mohan Roy - Widow Remarriage Act 1856
It is every Bengali’s duty to ensure that while we enjoy the Bengali Widow’s Kitchen, we do not deprive her of her right to delicious non-vegetarian cuisine. Nor ever clothe her in white by force or ever take away the ornaments on her body. All these are her birthright!
Bharatborn,
Very encouraging to hear this from you. Lovely. Yes, times are changing and it is for all of us to ensure taht the old systems are not insisted upon those who are widowed. Thanks for reading.
Julia
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Hi Keshu,
Yes, speaking about widows of Bengal it is apparent from Aditi's response that widows still exist in many parts of Bengal and across many sections of people. But yes, there is a change happening. None of the widows in my family have followed the norms. But yet, it was not an easy decision for them. Thanks for reading Keshu.
Julia
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Swarajya,
Well I thought I would make my point as well while telling the recipe too.

Thanks for reading the recipe out to your wife
Nargis,
Lauki will not do. Raw papaya only. Lauki is too soft. Thanks for reading Nargis and also for your appreciation of my Bengali poem
Julia
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Indu,
Please invite me to your lunch when you make Pishima's Peper Chechki
Julia
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Meera,
Do try the recipe...it is fantastic. And Usha, I too think the old mashima/pishima is cute.Thanks for visiting,
Julia
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Julia,
Your recipe was just a part of a mosaic of the bigger canvas of the Bengali widow, much of which is still the same in our villages and small towns. Why to go so far, when my father in law died suddenly of heart attack, my mother in law steadfastly refused to eat any non vegetarian food , it broke our heart, for she could not eat a single lunch or dinner without fish. She frequently also said that for her life was over when her husband breathed his last.... very similar to the poem you cited...
Aditi
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This was beautifully written and thoughtprovoking. In our families, my grandmothers were widows but they were never treated differently as regs. food dress or anything else. they didn't wear the bindi and avoided glass bangles. that's all.
Times are changing. Now they don't give up even that and the younger ones get married again.
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Hi Julia,
That was a tad depressing. (I got the Bong part too) I hope things have improved for the widows today. Brought to mind a Grand-Aunt of mine. She too was widowed very soon after marriage. All I remember of her was that she would assist at all the child-births and take care of the kids till they grew up and promptly forgot her.
Why do we do this?
Absolutely inhuman...it is as if she had killed her husband. Makes Sati seem like a sensible solution. Damn!
Keshav
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Hi Julia..loved the poem. And also the way you have paid a fitting tribute not only to the unique cuisine of a widow but to her humble plight as well. Will try out this recipe today....
..... but don't have papaya at home, will lauki do?
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The photograph of the grand old lady is impressive.The description of the life of a widow is very touching.The recipe was read out to my wife.I may like to taste the item.The appeal of Raja Ram Mohan Roy is to bring awareness of the people towards paying respect to widows.Time is changing fast.I have seen many widows in colourful sarees , wearing ornaments and looking no different from a married lady.
I admire your skillful writing.
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