Sab chole gelo
Unar shaasher sathe…
I do hope things have changed. I do hope that she is no more the mashima or the pishima who is dressed in white sari without a border, sitting in one corner of the house, minding grandchildren at one point and overly attached to her son on the other. How can she not be? After all she lost her husband at 22 years and has had to live her life only with her children, being looked after by her husband’s brother. The question of remarriage was only for the elite upper/middle class. Not about her. So she learnt to make her life colourful in her own little way, adding meaning to her lack-luster life like the colourless white sari, the necklace of tulasi beads around her neck and her empty hands, those hands which were filled with sonar churi and bala and her neck with a thick gold chain, even her fingers wore a ring or two, but alas!
Yet, never can you ever forget a Bengali widow’s (I hope of yesteryears now) kitchen, the total vegetarian cuisine, without meat, fish, garlic, onions and masur daal. It was really the dish to relish at the very beginning of a meal. For those who are vegetarians, you can only imagine what a deprivation it must be for a woman whose tongue is suited to non-vegetarian meals from her eighth month onwards, to be compelled to eat only vegetarian meals when the rest of the household is doing otherwise. Only the flavour of the mutton curry can be hers for usually, her kitchen would be next to but separate from the non-veg one. For those of us who are non-vegetarians, it is unthinkable that one woman in the same household can be treated with such silent torture, year after year after year. To attack ones taste buds is like killing the living soul. And yet! This is not a post to moan the state of Bengal’s widows; it is one to showcase how she could transform a boring vegetable to the most exquisite dish for a meal.
Pishimar Peper Chechki
Ingrediants:
Raw papaya – large size but not ripe yet
Sauf – half teaspoon
Jeera – Quarter teaspoon
Ginger – Half inch piece
Green Chillies – 2 (Optional)
Red Chilli – 2
Bay leaf - 2
Dalchini – 1 stick
Elaichi – 2
Coconut – Grated 2 tablespoons
Haldi – 1 teaspoon
Salt – to taste
Sugar – Half teaspoon
Shudh ghee (cow) – 1 tablespoon
Mustard oil – 2 tablespoons (you can use any other oil as well)
Method:
Scrape and cut the raw papaya in four pieces. Grate and keep aside. Grind sauf, jeera, ginger, 1 green chillie together and put aside. Grind dalchini and elaichi and put it aside in a covered small bowl.
Take a large frying pan and put it on the fire. When it is hot, put the oil and allow the bubbles in the mustard oil to subside. Now put the red chillies and the bay leaves and brown both. Once that is done, put the masala and stir fry till it leaves the sides of the pan. Quickly add the grated papaya, haldi and salt and keep stirring till the masala and the papaya have mixed well. Add a cup of water and cover the pan till the papaya has cooked completely. Now add the elaichi dalchini mix, half a spoon of sugar and stir fry just a bit longer till all the water has dried up. Take it off the fire. Add the grated coconut. Stir and place it in a bowl and cover it.
Your Pishima’s Peper Chechki is ready to eat. Serve with hot rice although the chechki need not be steaming hot itself.
For More Bengali Recipes:
http://milonee.net/bengali_recipes/list.html

Raja Ram Mohan Roy - Widow Remarriage Act 1856
It is every Bengali’s duty to ensure that while we enjoy the Bengali Widow’s Kitchen, we do not deprive her of her right to delicious non-vegetarian cuisine. Nor ever clothe her in white by force or ever take away the ornaments on her body. All these are her birthright!
Hi Priya,
I know! Only a few in Tamil society could escape that plight. I take heart in a few like the story of Ambi, a book I read recently, of a widow who educated herself after her husband's death to become a teach. There are exceptions, but few and far between. Thanks for visiting.
Julia
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Hmmm...Didn't know about the forced vegetarianism. What deprivations widows went through - my great-grandma, widowed at 16, had to wear a borderless dirty-brown saree, shave her head, and was allowed 1 meal a day....At 16 - that is ridiculous! Thank God times have changed.
Will try out this recipe when I see a raw papaya - in honor of the countless widows who gave up their sense of self.
Priya.
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Dagny,
Oh what a brilliant idea! I too have a problem with garlic use sometimes. This is such a great alternative. Thank you paql!
Julia
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Julia,
It is indeed the torture of the most inhman kind, to attack the sustenance which holds body and soul together.
I have found an alternative to garlic. heat some oil in a pan. When the oil gets hot, add a pinch of hing.. and then grated ginger. The ginger will try sticking to the walls of the pan.. but keep stirring and scraping it off till the ginger turns brown. After that add the other masalas as you normally would. The dish will have a flavour of garlic... without the garlic...!!!
Cheers,
Dagny
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Reety Roy,
Welcome to Xebecbooks! There always is sopcial pressures but it is important to stick to your guns, at all cost. Glad you liked the post.
Julia
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That was a very beautiful piece of work indeed.You've made some extremely significant points about widows.My granddad also insisted that nanima(my maternal grandmother)not give up meat.People "talked" about it (you know how they try and force their beliefs on you..sigh...when will the world change?),but we insisted that she do as she pleases and not listen to what random people had to say.
I love peper chechki too
And tomator chutney!
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Anjala,
Thanks for visiting. Yes, I too have that book by Chittrita Banerjee, The Hour Of The Goddess but I found the book very good as an anthropological/sociological book than for really the Bengali Recipe book I had hoped to have bought. Nevertheless, a good one.
Julia
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Very feelingly written, julia. A double cruelty indeed, one dealt by fate and the second by society. What equisite torture to be deprived like this for no fault of hers. It just compounds her misery- which she has to bravely and stoicly bear. The recipe is interesting. Sometimes the kids in the family spurn the regular food and seek out the Pishima-fare instead. I have a book by Chithrita Banerjee which is replete with interesting tidbits on Bengali cuisine. The photo is awesome - beautifully composed.
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Simmu,
Things are changing. But I did showcase a painful situation. Thanks for reading.
And Mr Datta,
As you know, if we conversed enough on this Sylheti thing, we would son find out that you and me are related in some distant way!! As all Sylhetis are.
Julia
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through ur blog i could feel the pain .........its really difficult to lead such a life.i wish our culture was more liberal to women
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