The Garg householdhad suddenly turned hyperactive.Generally given to extreme inertia and laziness, of late the entire house had turned into health freaks. Early morning walks and jogging. Even the Gym. Such sudden changes do not happen out of the blue. They always have a very good reason behind them. So kind reader, do relax and enjoy a tale of woos and woes. 

The Garg household consisted of four people. Papa Garg, Mama Garg, seventeen year old Babli and her nineteen year old brother, Arjun. And each had their own reason to embark on a fitness regime. Babli was already paper thin, but she had to stay that way. Her recently acquired bf (boy friend), was quite a Casanova when it came to girls. He professed undying love for our dear Babli, but he also eyed her best friend Rima, who was only three kilos overweight, if you compared the paper thin Babli with her. But a possible threat no doubt. Babli’s bf could easily dump her for Rima, if Babli did not continue to live on two and a half slices of bread without butter and platefuls of unappetizing lettuces all day long. Of course, not a single spoon of sugar or anything sweet passed her lips. Not even a chocolate as a soother, when she fought with her bf.

Arjun was somewhat of a hero in college with shapely biceps and a broad chest made so by five hundred push ups a day and two hours workouts at the local gym. Never mind that all the grey cells in his brain had shifted their place to his bulging muscles, and his college report proved that he was proficient in the physiques and chemistry of a subject called lovaria, although he failed miserably in all other subjects. But the girls swooned whenever they saw his bulging muscles and fell uncontrollably like rolling pins on his hard and broad chest. And that made Arjun a success. Of late the promise of beginning the day with love lost looks had gotten easier for him. Across from where he stayed, the new girl in town was also giving himlooks. He was about to embark on an early morning to late night romantic rendezvous!

Only he had competition from within his own home.

For Papa Garg, this was a blessing he in disguise. His family Physician had warned him against a possible cardiac arrest any time, if he did not watch his weight. And lo and behold! The weight was near over, with a heart attack of a different kind! Fat forty was going to melt like liquid butter, in the oven of his body, what with the new damsel in area. In fact, she was seen many times looking towards his house….He was sure! It had to be him. Young girls like older men after all.

However, he felt conscious of his gait. Just a few kilograms off and then he would be ready. He worked hard to reduce his fat, keeping a trainer to force him to the limits of exhaustion with one hour push ups and treadmill. Phew! Surely, there must be a better way to reduce weight instantly! Alas! There are none so Papa Garg trudged along putting his best attitude forward – after all there was a carrot at the end this hellish road. Very soon he would enjoy the fruit of such labour. He pumped on, day after day.

It was his obsession with the mirror that put ideas in Mama Garg's mind. Hmmmm! Whatever for? As it happens to be, wives are too smart for husbands to hide what is going on in their minds….Of course she knew! That made her set her target – ten kilograms down in six weeks. She gave up her favourite Pizza dinners, for bland sprout soups and embarked on a daily schedule of brisk walking for a good hour. Not an easy task mind you, after twenty years of marriage, two children and an erotic life, near zilch. Naturally, she was disappointed to see Papa Garg in his new avatar – eyes shining, clean shaved and reeking of perfume from morning to night.

"Letch!" she had complained to her friend, "budhape mein jawani aaa gayi…"

"Sab thik thak hai na?" her friend had been concerned.

"Dekh Sanju," Mama Garg had said, "After twenty years of marriage, who has the patience? Kapde utaaro, naada kholo….Oof! Mujhse to nahi hota hai…."

But now she was paying for such inertia! As the days passed, she grew more and more disturbed. Finally, she decided not to weight any longer. She took her life in her hands and the strict diet and walk began. Two weeks had passed since then.   She was hopeful.

Thus, the entire Garg household was experiencing Newton's first law of Motion –

Every object in a state of uniform motion tends to remain in that state of motion unless an external force is applied to it. Or better still, an object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.

That unbalanced force asyou can see dear reader, was different for all the different members of the Garg household. Babli towards her bf, Arjun for that new girl in the locality, Papa Garg, sharing the same fascination with his son and Mama Garg grudging her husband's roaming eyes – all were in movement in one sense or the other. With only one goal in mind, that being to lose weight. But while each knew their reason, they were unaware of each others reason for this sudden change in motion.

Unknown to anyone, however, was another member, not from the Garg household who was also under the influence of the unbalanced force that propelled him to get attracted to Mama Garg. On the walks, he could hardly bear to keep himself away from her .  In fact it was her growing girth which had begun to fascinate Mr Rawat. Poor Mr Rawat! You could not really blame him really. His wife was so thin, you could almost compare her to a thin arrowroot biscuit, flat on both sides. Naturally he dreamed of cushions and mattresses. He eyed Mama Garg as she bounced along, his mouth watering everytime she passed by him. Indeed, he very often tripped over himself looking back at her. Today was one of those days.

Just as Mama Garg, after a hard brisk walk of 5 kilometers sat herself on the bench to catch her missing breath, a huge pile of flesh landed on her lap, setting Newton's second Law of Motion in action –

" The relationship between an object's mass  m , its acceleration a , and the applied force  F is  F = ma ."

"Ma!", screamed Mama Garg, falling on the ground with the force of impact of the ninety two kilograms Rawat and dragging the said weight on top of her on the ground – " Ma! She screamed again, "Yeh kya battameezi hai…"

Mr Rawat had never thought it would have been so quick. His eyes lit up naughtily. Mama Garg was quick to see his pleasure. Anger rose up her spinal column like a venomous snake raising its ugly head. Reluctant though he was, Rawat rose from his comfortable position, pulling his tee-shirt over his gigantic paunch. He extended a helpful hand and dragged Mama Garg up to her feet, in one swift motion causing her to lose balance and land face first on his protruding lips. An excited shiver ran down Rawat’s back, lighting up his countenance, but only for a second.

Papa Garg was chasing after his nubile elixir of life, walking briskly up the walkway towards the hedges, when he caught sight of his wife in a close encounter with a man he had never seen. It took him by surprise and his blood boiled immediately. What he saw was indigestible to him.   Loosing sight of his nubile passion, he rushed towards his ghar-ki-murgi . Mind you dear reader, at this juncture in time, his ghar-ki-murgi’s face, happened to be unabashedly resting on the lips of a man where it seemed to be permanently lodged.   Papa Garg made a dash for the two and performed an act that set Newton's Third law of motion in action - For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction .

Papa Garg raised an iron hand which landed with a violent force on Rawat's cheek. Rawat went swirling to the left, grabbing and dragging Mama Garg once again with him on the ground. He was starry eyed this time. Holding Mama Garg tightly for the last time, he gave her his second cheek.

"One for the road, M’am", winked Rawat cheekily, indicating his cheek with his finger.

Papa Garg lunged at him menacingly but just at that moment from the corner of his eyes, he caught the sight of his son, in a passionate kiss with the nubile damsel he had been chasing. She had been the run away joy in his life of late, the young lady across the street, for whom he had been working so hard, paying through his nose to the trainer at the Gym.

Alas, he had lost her to his own home team.

Papa Garg was furious! He snarled and dragged Mama Garg to her feet.

The Garg household returned to where they started from - Newton's first law of Motion –

An object at rest tends to stay at rest unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.

The unbalanced force on the one hand, nearly cost Papa Garg his wife and on the other hand taught him a h(e)art lesson – water always finds its own level.